My daughter is 15 and does not have a relaxer on her hair. Her hair is shoulder length, and not too coarse. Right now, she gets her hair pressed and flat ironed at a beauty school. Is this best for her hair or should I let her get a relaxer? I guess what I am trying to say is which process is less damaging?

Thanks!

Angela [last name removed]

My response:

It depends on how hot the comb or flat iron is and if she is using a protective moisturizer in her hair before applying the heat. I wouldn’t recommend using a relaxer because it is far more damaging. Chemicals such as a relaxer should only be used to aid in managability.

If you must use chemicals try using a texturizer which will make her texture softer, but it won’t be as damaging as a relaxer or you can just keep it natural!

Samara
http://www.growblackhair.net

Even though my site is mainly about caring for relaxed hair (for now), I don’t recommend putting a relaxer in your hair if it is already natural. I will be adding a transitioning from relaxed to natural and a natural hair care section to the site coming 2009 so stay tune for next years new additions!

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I remember three years ago when I tried to go natural. I had no idea how to care for my natural hair so I became frustrated with it and got a relaxer. Now that I know how to manage my hair in it’s natural state, all my frustrations are gone and I love my hair, naturally.

With that said, on to my question of the month:

Umm, I’m twelve and when I was nine I had hair like a queen, now my hair is dull, thin, lifeless and just BORING! I really want to know what i should do to get it back to being long and thin (Well it is long but not as long as when i was nine!). I have been getting bangs and ponytail and microbraids (Just found out it wasn’t working!). My hair is relaxed and I also wanted to know if Just For Me hair relaxer (coarse) or African Pride Dream Kids is the best for a twelve year old with damaged and breaking hair. Also, is it okay to use shampoo’s that are different then the relaxer’s brand and conditioners that are way off the list?

I can not tell you how to get your hair to be long and thin, however, I can guide you to have long, thick hair. If your hair is naturally thin, that’s one thing, but if it’s thick, then that’s how it should be. If you notice my pictures in the banner(more can be seen here), you should notice that my hair is actually thick and it’s still gorgeous. If your hair is originally thick and you somehow do something to make it thin, then your hair is severely damaged and I know you don’t want to have damaged hair at all. None of us want that.

First and foremost, I do not recommend Just for Me. I’ve used this hair relaxer in the past and it caused my hair to come out in patches. I had long thick hair when I was in the 8th grade and when my stylist gave me this relaxer I had bald spots! Which, I must add, showed up weeks or even a month after my relaxer. I only recommend the relaxers in the Grow Black Hair Shop, which are relaxer’s I’ve used with no bad side effects such as Motions Salon Herbals and the Phytorelaxer, both should be applied by a professional only.

It is okay for you to use a different brand shampoo and conditioner. You need to use one that is best for your haircare needs. For example I may use Kinky-Curly’s brand Curling Custard, but I use the Karen’s Body Beautiful Hair Nectar in place of the Knot Today for my leave-in. I also use the CURLS brand shampoo and my hair is beautiful, soft, moisturized, and strong.

If your hair is breaking severely, I’d recommend postponing your relaxer for about 2 months to give yourself some time to recondition your hair. First start off by using a protein treatment such as the Aphogee Two-Step Protein Treatment. Wash your hair with a sulfate free moisturizing shampoo such as the Curls Curlicious Cleansing Cream. Follow by a conditioning rinse every time you shampoo such as the Coconut Sublime Moisturizing Conditioner. Remember to wash your hair every 3 days and deep condition your hair every 2 weeks with the Organic Root Stimulator Hair Mayonnaise, or the Curls Ecstasy Hair Tea Conditioner. Use only a wide tooth comb in your hair and moisturize the hair daily with either the Organic Root Stimulator Carrot Oil or the Curls Milkshake.

I think this article will be a good read for you before getting another relaxer.

Another good read: Micro Braids: A Hair Growers Disaster

And another: Pontytails Cause Hair Breakage

I will also suggest that you visit the Relaxed Haircare section to learn how to develop your own haircare routine.

Samara

http://www.growblackhair.net

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All hair no matter the texture has a life cycle. During this life cycle the hair goes through 3 stages: Growing, Resting, Shedding. During the Shedding Phase, people usually shed between 50-100 hairs per day to make room for new hair that is growing in. Natural hair is naturally kinky and/or curly so the shed hairs may not make their way completely out of our heads and then become tangled with the hairs still growing out of our scalp causing knots that lead to breakage! Yes, I know this is awlful, but it’s what we are blessed with: Curly/Kinky hair.

The solution to this problem is sufficient detangling and removal of shed hairs. The best time to do this is during your wash days. My advice is when you shower and cleanse your hair rinse the hair thoroughly and use your fingers to remove the shed hairs by gently finger combing the hair. Add conditioner and/or oil to make the hair slippery. This will help you remove the shed hairs as well as the tangles if any. Once you have detanlged with your fingers, follow up with a wide tooth detangling comb. Next braid or twist the hair and use some clamps to section your detangled hair from the hair that still needs to be detangled to prevent retangling of hair. Doing this prior to adding your shampoo will greatly reduce the knots.

Another factor I will also like to point out is redepositing shed hairs into the head during styling. This is also a big reason why you may be getting the knots. When you are using shea butter, gel, etc., do you have bits of hair in the jar? Do you have hairs stuck to your hands as you are applying your products? If so you need to remove them before you place your hands back in your hair because putting these hairs back in the hair leads to more knots! If you have shed hairs on your hands while styling rinse them off before continuing. If the hair is in your jar of gel, shea butter, conditioner, etc. Remove them!! As always wear protective styles often, never comb your hair while it’s dry and sleep with a satin or silk bonnet or scarf. These steps will help you reduce the knots, tangles, and breakage.

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Questions:
1. How do I detangle my hair?

2. Why are my ends so hair?

3. Where do you get your hair products?

If you a reading this article via email, please click here to watch the video.

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Questions:
1. How do I prevent fairy knots?

2. Do I have scab hair?

If you are reading this article via email, please click here to watch the video.

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